I'll be honest, I am leaning heavily towards yes. I always have to make it so much more complicated than it needs to be, angels, God, whatever it may be. I think angels are real because my best friend is real. I have such a strong feeling or belief that he was put on this earth to be in my life and I was put on this earth to be put in his. I sometimes feel a bit fucked for saying that because he is a dad, a son, a brother, a husband, and here I am like yes you are all of the

I think I am so down on myself and so empty and not confident that I have reached the point of constantly reaching out for external validation in the most unhealthy ways, just any way I can get it. And I am so in need of companionship that I’m willing to except anything or to pretend something is there when it’s not. I am just so over being alone with my thoughts at all times, the people that are supposed to always be around aren’t, so i’m stuck with myself. I am always so st

I am hyper aware of every thought in my head right now, so painfully hyper aware so what better option is there to just word vomit all of my thoughts at once, get some of it out no matter how irrational and insane they are, no one will see it anyways. I am having complicated feelings towards Ari because I feel like we got super close and now he doesn't talk to me and it makes me feel like he just used me when he was down and now he doesn't need me and that hurts, he doesn't a